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Avoid these mistakes at all cost

Monday, November 26, 2012   /   by Kevin Comisky

Avoid these mistakes at all cost

November 26, 2012


   Avoid these mistakes at all costs. 


 


    The end of the year is rapidly approaching and for many of us, that means a new look for the next year…maybe including a new job.


There are two ways to learn lessons about the right way to apply for, interview for and get a job – learn from your mistakes or learn from someone else’s.


In this week’s Mojo, we’re going to give you a light-hearted look at some of the funniest resume blunders you’ll ever find.


Some are funny, others are unbelievable and absurd.


We hope you enjoy them all.


    Here’s your Monday Morning Mojo.


 


   MOJO:


All of the phrases, including spelling mistakes, are based on the actual resume entries:


From Resume Hell:



  1. “Career break in 1999 to renovate my horse”

  2. “1990 – 1997: Stewardess – Royal Air Force”

  3. Hobbies: “enjoy cooking Chinese and Italians”

  4. “Service for old man to check they are still alive or not.”

  5. Cleaning skills: “bleaching, pot washing, window cleaning, mopping, e.t.c”

  6. “Job involved…counselling clientele on accidental insurance policies available”

  7. “2001 summer Voluntary work for taking care of the elderly and vegetable people”

  8. “I’m intrested to here more about that. I’m working today in a furniture factory as a drawer”

  9. “I am about to enrol on a Business and Finance Degree with the Open University. I feel that this qualification will prove detrimental to me for future success.”

  10. “Time is very valuable and it should be always used to achieve optimum results and I believe it should not be played around with”

  11. “I belive that weakness is the first level of strength, given the right attitude and driving force. My school advised me to fix my punctuality…”


 


From Ask Annie’s article about resume blunders:



  1. “an applicant ghosted a headshot as the background to her resume”

  2. Other Interests: “Playing with my two dogs (They actually belong to my wife but I love the dogs more than my wife)”.

  3. “One applicant used colored paper and drew glitter designs around the border”

  4. Hobbies: “getting drunk everynight down by the water, playing my guitar and smoking pot”

  5. Why Interested in Position: “to keep my parole officer from putting back me in jail”

  6. A woman had attached a picture of herself in a mini mouse costume

  7. Hobbies: “Drugs and girls”.

  8. Under “job related skills” – for a web designer – “can function without additional oxygen at 24,000 feet”.

  9. My sister-in-law misspelled the word “proofreading” in her skill set.

  10. The objective on one recent resume I received stated that the applicant wished to pursue a challenging account executive position with our rival firm.

  11. Objective: “career on the Information Supper Highway”

  12. Experience: “Stalking, shipping & receiving”

  13. “I am great with the pubic.”

  14. A candidate listed her e-mail address as pornstardelight@*****.com

  15. The applicant listed her name as Alice in the resume but wrote Alyce on the onsite application.

  16. One candidate’s electronic resume included links to her homepage, where the pictures were of her in the nude.

  17. “…sent out my resume on the back side of a draft of a cover letter to another firm…”

  18. “My duties included cleaning the restrooms and seating the customers.”

  19. One applicant for a nursing position noted that she didn’t like dealing with blood or needles.

  20. Achievements: “Nominated for prom queen”

  21. I once received a resume with a head and shoulders picture in the top left of the first page. The picture was of a lion’s head, wearing a coat, shirt, and tie.

  22. a resume… was printed on the back of the person’s current employer’s letterhead.

  23. One resume that came across my desk stated how the individual had won a contest for building toothpick bridges in middle school.

  24. A resume… had several grease stains and a smudge of chocolate on it

  25. Hobbies: “Having a good time”


You can read more resume blunders by going to:


http://jobmob.co.il/blog/funniest-resume-mistakes/

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Kris Forsyth & Dan Keller
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